Worries About Uni: Collab With Severina

The run up to starting uni can be a whole mix of emotions from excitement to fear, relief to stress and a whole host in between. More often that not, it's a mix of them all, be that all at once or each taking their turn. Whilst I'm excited to start the next chapter of my life and have been for a while, there are also several things I'm slightly less sure about. Severina and I decided to share with you our anxieties and nerves about uni so that anyone also heading off to uni might be comforted by the fact they aren't alone, people who have been through it might remember the feelings and we, ourselves, can look back on it in a few months and maybe give you an update on how those things actually ended up happening to reflect ourselves and show anyone heading to uni soon that (hopefully), these worries are nothing to be too concerned about. We have also given advice to each other and anyone else experiencing these thoughts as we have different perspectives and different worries to one another, although some do slightly overlap. Once you've had a read through this post, don't forget to check out Severina's post here to see what she is worried about and the advice I gave her. (Plus, check out her blog and give her a follow anyway because she's so lovely and I love her blog!) After that long introduction, let us begin...

My Worries

Freshers week: Whilst a lot of people look forward to Freshers week and have high expectations of the event, I don't share those feelings; I'm more looking forward to starting the course and 'proper' uni the week after. (Although I am looking forward to the freebies!) One reason for this is because I'm not a big fan of clubbing or anything along those lines, as discussed in this post. Crowds, loud music and heavy drinking aren't really my thing, I'm more of a smaller, quieter night out with dinner and cocktails, kind of person, which from stories and advertising, freshers doesn't seem to contain a lot of. Surrounding this dislike, it makes me worry that forming friendships in that first week will be more difficult or that I'll feel more alone should I end up in a flat full of party goers. I'm sure I won't be the only one with those preferences, it's just a case of where to find them, which may not happen in the first week. I then don't want pay to go somewhere I'm going to be uncomfortable but don't want to isolate myself from the go- it's a tricky balancing act but I think the last thing I should do is be someone I'm not, for the sake of pleasing other people. As I've been told before, anything goes in uni, so all being well this worry won't be a concern for long once I actually get there.

Severina’s Advice: Everyone feels anxious about Fresher’s week as nobody knows anyone, however it’s important to remember everyone’s in the same boat as you are. Don’t worry about not being a party person as there will also be others at uni who don’t like partying so you’ll be able to make friends with them.  Also, during Freshers week universities tend to hold all kinds of events so if you’re not the partying type then I’m sure there’ll be an event for you, plus that gives you the opportunity to meet people.

Being surrounded by mess! I'm fortunate enough to have an ensuite room so the only real concern is the kitchen... I like to have a clean area and whilst I know the kitchen will not be a clean area 90% of the time unless I am EXTREMELY lucky, I would really like to have a few people in my flat, who like me, like to just get on and sort their own stuff out so it's not a messy pile up in and around the sink. As I don't like to be in that environment, I would be more inclined to just suck it up and tidy it every so often but I don't want to give myself the role of a cleaner so that people think they can get away with it, but nagging flatmates to wash up is probably not the best start to a friendship or even living arrangement.

Severina’s Advice: With people sharing a kitchen it should be everyone’s responsibility to look after it and makes sure it’s clean, in some cases universities can charge you if it’s left really untidy. If you're concerned about other people being messy then make sure that everyone cleans up after themselves (it just has to be a friendly reminder). When it comes to stuff like washing up dishes and not wanting to be the person that washes up all the time, then maybe come up with a rota with your flatmates. That way it’s fair and it’s not left to one person all the time. However if your flatmates are still really messy and its making you uncomfortable then you should have a quiet word with your accommodation officers. After all you’re living and paying for your accommodation (which isn’t cheap) and you have the right to live in a clean environment.

Disappearing food: I am hoping to get my hands on a mini fridge (my accommodation allows them but many don't, so check before you buy) so that I can keep my fruit and stuff that I definitely don't want stealing, in my room, away from anyone who might fancy a nibble. I'm sure at some point (many points) some of my food will go disappearing into someone else's mouth but at least the main items will be safe for me to eat as and when I want them.

Severina’s Advice: When you first start university, universities recommend bringing sticky labels to stick onto your food until you get to know your flatmates (and vice versa!), that prevents your food from being eaten. If someone does eat your food, try not to get too annoyed as we all make mistakes and some people do it without realising what they’re doing. However, if the problem persists then politely tell the person who is eating your food that you don’t appreciate them taking your food without your permission, after all you’re the one paying for it!

Making friends: The one you've all heard before! This one is not my biggest concern at the moment, simply because I've been told so many times that it isn't anything to worry about, everyone's in the same boat, yada yada... but obviously moving away from everyone and everything you know is scary and so the prospect of having to meet all new people is daunting and kind of terrifying. Odds are, somewhere in the uni are a bunch of people you'd get on really well with, it's just finding them.

Severina’s Advice: Steph’s quite right with everything she says here and this is one of the most common university worries! You just have to find people who you share common interests with and try to make friends with people on your course. The best advice I received was if people aren’t willing to treat you right then they aren’t worth it, and it’s not your fault that they choose to treat you like that. Another KEY piece of advice when making friends, ALWAYS be yourself! You should NEVER have to change yourself to fit in with others, if you do, they aren’t worth it, plus you’ll find people who love you for who you are.

Not having family in the room across the hall: For almost 19 years, I've lived with the same people... my mum, dad and brother and not being able to see them everyday will be a very weird and difficult experience. Whilst I'm excited to move out and try things for myself, I'll miss having my them there for a chat or a cuddle whenever. Knowing they're an hour away and not just on the next floor will take some serious getting used to and I'm sure we'll just have to make up for lost time in the weekend and holiday visits! Linked to this, is a worry for them back home, my mum in particular as we spend a lot of time together and without me there, the house will probably be rather lonely- my brothers out 90% of the time and my dad works in the week, whereas mum works less hours. It can't be easy losing two people (in different ways) that you spend a lot of time with; I don't want her to feel alone at home. She'll just have to make plenty of trips in my direction! (I added this one after Severina added her advice which is why she didn't respond to this in her advice section).

Severina’s Advice: Obviously moving away from family is always going to be difficult but it’s also important to remember that it's part of growing up and becoming independent. If you're not too far away, then it’s easy to pop back and visit when you’re not busy at university. With today's technology, it's really easy to keep in touch with your family; you can call, text, Skype etc.

Doing everything myself: Having so much responsibility will probably come as a bit of a shock, and whilst individual tasks might not be too tricky, having to keep on top of them all won't exactly be a walk in the park!

Severina’s Advice: Again, learning to become an independent takes some time and getting used to but it’s also part of growing up. If you’re worried about keeping on top of tasks then get a planner. That way you can organise and prioritise what tasks need to be done. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Not many of us are experts at cooking, washing and cleaning when we come to university. If you're struggling with something (e.g washing) maybe ask one of your flatmates to help you. If you’re really struggling then ask your family to help.

There are a few more things I could have mentioned but they were the main ones. Let me know if you have or had similar worries about heading off to uni. Make sure you go over to Severina's blog and check out her post on the topic. I enjoyed creating a post with her, especially something like this where we are both experiencing the same thing but have different perspectives and worries about it. It's hopefully given us both some reassurance as well some readers in a similar position.

Thank you for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to see more posts from me, you can follow my social media links in the top right hand corner to see when I next upload.

Love, Steph x