I feel like I say this every year, mainly because it's true but it's been another whirlwind year. Every year I think the next will be better and every year continuing and new challenges arise that knock me back. Of course, I don't have it the worst and would never claim to but it certainly doesn't make things easier to face in the midst of challenges. That's why I wanted to take the time to reflect on the year, look back at the goals I set and pick out highlights to remind myself of those positive moments as well as set new ones for 2020.
I've been MIA here and over on my channel for a long time now and although I miss elements of it, particularly as we broach a new year and I don't have clips to edit into a 'year review' video (I don't even have many photos!), I haven't been in the right headspace. I, therefore, am not going to make a big 'I'm back' speech as for my own mental wellbeing, I don't want to commit to such a thing. Instead, I hope to pop up now and again, logging memories for myself, sharing bits and keeping on top of my filming and editing skills.
So now that's out of the way, let's take a look at my 2019 highlights (in no particular order)...
2019 Highlights...
New York
I started 2019 with a university trip to New York which was incredible! I did so much during the days we spent there and loved seeing what the city had to offer. Whilst I didn't see and do everything, I did all I had wanted to do and more. One day, in particular, was beyond amazing, starting with a trip to Good Morning America where we sat behind Samuel L. Jackson and M. Night. Shyamalan during their interview, got to see our friend model some clothes on the show and met some of the presenters. It was great to witness anyway but particularly as a journalism student, seeing the production and how it came to be a show. Later that day, we also skated in Central Park (an absolute dream), watched The Prom on Broadway (insane) and went to the top of the Empire State Building to view the bright lights in the city that never sleeps (stunning). It really was an incredible trip and I'm so grateful we had the opportunity to visit.
Majorca Ultimate Fitness Bootcamp
As mentioned above, I experienced my first solo travel adventure. I was incredibly nervous when booking and took my time deciding what to do/where to go but I don't think I could have chosen a better thing for me. Spending a week with a group I'd never met, working out together, living together and exploring together was an amazing experience. Everybody was so lovely, they helped motivate each other when they were struggling i.e. helping me to keep running and we had a lot of laughs! It felt so good to be able to do as much as I did and push through the pain to complete all of the workouts and hikes, particularly when after the first day, I didn't think I'd physically be able to. It really shows how much you can do both mentally and physically. It was also great to do yoga each morning looking over the beach- I'd only ever tried yoga as a one-off so to do it consistently felt really good. I'm yet to put this into practice back home but I felt yoga really benefitted me so I need to get into it as a regular thing over here. Doing this Bootcamp also gave me more confidence to try new classes back home as well as contributed to my desire to learn more about fitness instructing and training.
Graduating
Finishing university is a funny thing- you're suddenly out in the 'real world', making decisions, moving back home and planning for the future. Towards the end of university, I felt very negative and drew myself away and then struggled with the idea of finishing and having to move forward. Whilst I now feel more secure in my current path, I still have no real idea where I'll end up and try to push that aside and concentrate on the now until I feel ready to move on to something new. After processing all of this change (or trying to), Graduation came around and I really wasn't sure whether I wanted to go but thankfully I did and had a lovely day, celebrating the hard work I put in to get where I am, to achieve a degree and to have survived three years of uni which isn't always easy! It was a nice end to the chapter to close it with some of the brilliant people I met during my time there.
Luna and Ruby
We lost both our family dog and cat in 2019 and it truly broke my heart, twice over. They were both a huge part of my life and had been for 8/9 years. It really hit hard and I love and miss them both dearly. After dealing with the loss of not only Fudge herself, we also felt the absence of a dog in general- you don't realise how 'there' they are until they're not. The same with Millie (our cat) but we lost her later on after our new additions. So we decided to rescue two puppies during Summer. Luna and Ruby are sisters and bring their own challenges- trust me, there have been plenty over the last few months- but they are beautiful, lovable, cuddly pups and amongst the heartbreak, brought some light back into my life. They could never replace Fudge or Millie and they will remain in our hearts, but I now have so much love for these two as well and hope 2020 allows them to settle, their behaviour to straighten out and for our bond to grow. |
| Fudge |
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| Millie |
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| Luna and Ruby August 2019 |
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| Luna and Ruby November 2019 |
Portugal
We stayed in the most beautiful villa in Portugal! With stunning rooms and an amazing pool and outdoor area, it was just what we needed to relax, explore and have fun. I enjoyed putting my newly learned workouts into action pretty much every day whilst also enjoying the amazing food. I'm such a kid at heart and love floats/lilos and playing about in the pool so really made the most of this with my giant Pegasus! We also visited a couple of water parks which is another of my favourite things to do and it did not disappoint. The area itself was lovely- we took a few trips out to the nearby villages and towns but my personal highlight was being able to relax by the pool, splash around and enjoy the waterparks.
Shawn Mendes
After way too many years of listening to his music and attempting to get tickets, I finally saw Shawn perform live at the O2 London. Seeing him in 2018 as part of the Summertime Ball really reinforced the need to see him at his own show. It didn't disappoint and was even better to see him at his own concert and to finally hear some of my favourite songs performed live. It was a lovely evening and he was incredible both vocally and with all of the instruments he played.Photoshoot
Not long after the loss of Fudge and when I really didn't feel like doing much, mum and I had a pre-booked photoshoot that I'd won. Unsure whether we should go, we decided to anyway and it turned out to be just what I needed to take my mind away, have a pamper and feel good within myself. With hair and makeup and a glass of bucks fizz, it got off to a great start. The photographer was then brilliant at guiding you, telling you what to do and of course taking lovely photos. I expected to dislike most of them (naturally) but was pleasantly surprised! I loved that it captured the fun side as well as taking some more 'posey' photos of myself and my mum and I now feel glad to have them to admire and remember the happier moments of a pretty rubbish time.
Summer
My friend came to stay with me in Summer, having not seen her for a year or so. It was lovely to spend time together, catch up and remember some of our previous trips! Although it wasn't the most exciting compared to other trips as we only just had the puppies who couldn't be left long at all, we managed to fit in a number of outings and I enjoyed getting to spend time together even just chilling again!Triathlon
I completed my second triathlon this year (third if you include the team relay I did a few years ago) and was really happy with my time! I sped up significantly on the bike and maintained a decent speed on the swim. As hinted, running is not my thing, I really struggle to catch my breath no matter how often I run (most probably due to my asthma) so I was not looking forward to this part of the triathlon. Whilst I didn't run it all and instead opted for bursts and then brisk walking, I still managed a decent time and finished well under my goal of 2 hours to complete the whole thing!Vidcon London
I almost forgot this happened in 2019, it's all gone by in a blur! I really enjoyed my weekend in London and loved the way it brought the world of YouTube to life. Whilst it didn't have the same magic as Vidcon Amsterdam in 2017, it had its charm. My two main highlights were chatting to Mark Ferris, who was so lovely and funny, and seeing Gabbie Hanna perform live as I love her music!
Wales
This year I also helped to decorate our cottage in Wales and have since been able to visit a couple of times to enjoy the area. As an exciting new business venture, it's been great to see my parents throwing themselves into the process and to join in where possible. Whilst there over Summer, we also visited a vineyard which made for a fascinating day complete with the wine tasting and delicious cheeseboard. On a previous visit, we also got to try the Treetop Zipwiring which was kind of terrifying but a whole load of fun!
Ragdale Hall
The evening we spent at Ragdale Hall was lush! So relaxing and pleasant with amazing company and a beautiful spa itself. The treatment was heavenly but the real highlight had to be the infinity pool with a gorgeous view. With so much on offer, it was hard to fit it all in but we did our best to experience it all and enjoyed it in the process! I hope to go back and enjoy a relax there again.Reflecting on my 2019 Goals...
Limit procrastination- just get things done and then have rewarded time off
Whilst procrastination is still a habit of mine, I do feel I worked on this during 2019 particularly with regards to my Final Project (Dissertation equivalent). As the new year started, I found myself focused on what I needed to do and managed to get myself working hard on it early on so I had finished a month ahead of the deadline and could give myself plenty of time to edit and perfect it, which was quite handy as our university had a break right before the deadline meaning lecturers weren't as available! Although it wasn't perfect, I like how it turned out and feel proud by the number of roles I had to take on, the independence it required and the fact that I successfully made a Mental Health Magazine with Augmented Reality singlehandedly. Plus, I put the pressure on myself earlier on to get it finished which didn't actually prevent the stress, just pushed it forward but it allowed me to relax more towards the deadline knowing the bulk was done.More consistent workouts
I feel this was a success! I increased the amount I went towards the end of university but have found it easier and more successful since moving back home. I've even tried a range of new exercise classes, some I've really enjoyed, some enjoyed less but it's opened my eyes to new ways of working out and helped build my confidence by trying new things.Travel and have time to breathe
Whilst I haven't traveled as much as I'd hoped, I did complete my first solo travel which was a brilliant experience as mentioned earlier! I have also taken the pressure off slightly to give me time to breathe, think and see where the wind takes me.Do things for me
I'm still working on this but feel I've made more of an effort this year. I would benefit from taking this goal into the new year to continue working on focusing on what I want to do for myself rather than always putting others first but we're slowly getting there.Spend less
This year I managed to cut down my wardrobe massively by giving to family/friends as well as donating to charity and since doing that I've been better at limiting my purchases. Of course, the Shopaholic in me still exists and sometimes pushes through but I'm heading in the right direction and am reducing the amount of shopping, particularly clothing and makeup. I want to continue reducing the amount I spend and increase the amount I save as I head into 2020.Upload more often without too much pressure
Well... we all know how this has gone! Earlier this year I decided YouTube wasn't for me. When I didn't really feel like doing anything, it's natural that the last thing I wanted to do was pick up a camera and film and it felt like every time I felt inspired again, something new would knock me back. Writing kind of fit alongside this and my creativity seemed to flop during this time. Whilst my life currently doesn't really suit regular video uploads, I do want to try and film a little more during 2020- perhaps monthly- so I capture some bits and have moments to look back on without too much pressure. The same applies to blogging, I hope to try and upload now and again to keep it going, doing it when I enjoy it without too much pressure. I guess it also applies to the rest of my social media... I want it to be something I enjoy and as I head into the new year with a couple of new Instagram accounts, I hope they bring me joy and act as a great way to document areas of my life.Write
At times I successfully worked on this goal and found myself writing more often, with the help and motivation of one of my friends but I haven't done so much recently. Again, I wrote about quite personal experiences and although I want to continue, I needed a break for my own wellbeing and didn't want writing about more negative emotions or thoughts to keep me feeling negative within myself. I need to find that balance to get the writing flow without the negative headspace!
2020 Goals...
- Do yoga more consistently
- Be able to do a headstand without assistance
- Improve my eating habits
- Tone up
- Pass my PT course
- Work with Luna and Ruby to train them and improve their behaviour
- Have a bit more of an idea about my next steps
- Visit Italy
- Visit Croatia
- Do another Bootcamp (maybe)
- Complete a Tough Mudder/Obstacle Course/Spartan run or similar
- Watch Wicked at the theatre
- Move/walk more on days I'm working (an office job can make me feel very lazy)
- Continue writing (with a balance)
How has your year been? I'd love to see your highlights and any goals for the new year in the comments! Thank you for reading this post and for sticking by! I'll be back here again soon but in the meantime, if you want to check out my socials, you can find the links at the top and bottom of my blog. I also have two new Instagram pages if you fancy heading over and checking those out- Luna and Ruby's here and my fitness page here. See you soon!
Love, Steph x
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